Infertility, Identity & Love Under Pressure: Abbe Feder on IVF & Relationships | In Heels

Abbe Feder, founder of InCircle Fertility, joins In Heels with Keni Silva podcast to share her journey through infertility, IVF, and the emotional impact fertility struggles have on identity and relationships. In this episode, Abbe Feder opens up about how trying to conceive can shift love into pressure, why women often lose themselves in the process, and how to navigate uncertainty with resilience.

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Abbe Feder
Unexplained Infertility Created Life Purpose

What’s a woman to do once she’s made her way through Unexplained Infertility? Help OTHER women get through it!! That’s what Abbe Feder’s doing — guiding women everywhere with her own podcast, fertility coaching, social media and supportive e-blasts.

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Abbe Feder
Abbe Feder: Turning Pain into Purpose—A Fertility Journey That Became a Mission

Abbe Feder’s path to founding InCircle Fertility wasn’t one she ever planned to take. Like so many who find themselves in the trenches of infertility, she became an expert by necessity—through twelve grueling attempts, heart-wrenching losses, and years of uncertainty. What began as a personal struggle evolved into a lifeline for others when she and her husband started their podcast, Maculate Conception, as a way to process their grief.

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Abbe Feder
Infertility Support Networks That Won’t Give You the Ick

InCircle Fertility is meant to bridge the gap between the clinical and emotional sides of the experience, both of which can be stark and lacking on their own. Their organized coaching places empathy above all else, so you’re comfortable asking questions and going to medical appointments. Abbe knows how you’re feeling, and it’s exactly why InCircle Fertility works so well to support us as complex individuals. 

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Abbe Feder
Best IVF Loans in March 2025

But in many cases, families still face out-of-pocket costs, according to Abbe Feder, founder and fertility coach at InCircle Fertility. “Even in the best of scenarios, ideally with some or all of your treatment covered, there are things that come up.

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Abbe Feder
A Day at Haven for Moms, a Pop-Up ‘Sanctuary’ for Pregnant and Parenting Angelenos Affected by the Wildfires

“Obviously, with fertility and with motherhood, so much of it is already out of your control, which can be the most anxiety-inducing part,” Abbe Feder, the founder of InCircle Fertility, who was there donating her services, tells me. “When even more gets taken out of your control, it can feel like the floor has literally been ripped out from under you.”

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Abbe Feder
Navigating Infertility: From Struggles to Support with Abbe Feder

We explore the many layers of infertility—from understanding the complexities of reproductive health to navigating the emotional and financial hurdles of treatments like IVF. Abbe, alongside a diverse lineup of experts and fellow travelers, shares invaluable insights on everything from secondary infertility and the rise of egg freezing to the often-overlooked psychological impacts of fertility struggles.

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Abbe Feder
What Do I Wish People Knew About Fertility

Abbe Feder founded InCircle Fertility after emerging on the other side of her all-consuming struggles with infertility and pregnancy loss. These experiences were life-altering and when the dust settled, it quickly became evident that the only possible next step was supporting others as they navigate this turbulent terrain.

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Abbe Feder
Leaning on Levity To Break the Grief: 6 Years of Unexplained Infertility With Abbe Feder

In this episode, Abbe shares her own six-year journey through unexplained infertility, including her initial reluctance to turn to assisted reproductive technology. Ultimately, Abbe and her husband tried IUI and then IVF with multiple failed transfers and loss. After a traumatic birth experience and emergency hysterectomy, Abbe is the proud mom of twins.  Abbe leans on her experience and a deep well of empathy and tools to guide hopeful parents through the infertility experience. InCircle Fertility is not just a service; it's a guiding light for anyone navigating the complex path to parenthood.  

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Abbe Feder