What About the Sperm? A Closer Look at Male Factor Infertility
If you’ve ever heard a guy proudly refer to his “strong swimmers” in relation to a quick pregnancy, then you’ve caught a proper glimpse into how society defines the fundamental relationship between masculinity and reproduction.
In a world where infertility as a whole is still rarely discussed openly, the stigma shrouding a man’s inability to conceive is profound. In Rhod Gilbert’s recently produced documentary, Stand Up for Infertility, The British comedian takes on the epic task of unpacking why Male Factor Infertility (MFI) remains almost totally invisible and what that means when over a third of all infertility cases are due to an issue with the man.
Gilbert does a formidable job examining the deep shame and embarrassment many men feel when faced with their own infertility challenges and how seldom they talk about it to anyone. He highlights how difficult it was for him to get men together in a room to openly discuss their struggle; though unsurprisingly he also shows how liberating it felt once the few men who were willing to finally opened up.
The secrecy and social stigma surrounding MFI has a disastrous effect on the ability of couples to get the help they so desperately need when struggling to conceive. Gilbert notes that he and his wife suffered through 6 years of infertility before even considering the prospect that his sperm might have something to do with the problem. So many other men and couples cite the same experience.
Often the medical community perpetuates the myth that women are solely responsible for infertility by focusing diagnostics and treatment exclusively on her. Andrology, the medical specialty dealing with the male reproductive system, is barely mentioned during the infertility experience, where almost all of the emphasis is placed on the different components of a woman's reproductive health.
The infertility support community is guilty of overwhelming gender imbalance as well. From social media accounts to support groups, men are almost totally absent. How can this be, when men are half of the equation? Yes, women bear significantly more of the physical burden of Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART). We cannot overlook the tremendous toll this takes, whether it be suffering through hormone shots, painful procedures and pregnancy loss.
However, just as men are not exempt from physical fertility challenges, they are certainly not exempt from the pain and suffering accompanied with infertility either.
There is an enormous cost to infertility being so widely seen as a “women's issue”. Efforts to help men become a part of the conversation on every level will help everyone. Diagnosing MFI early and often will save couples significant time, money and heartache. Not to mention, one could argue that once MFI is considered, insurance companies may take infertility more seriously as a disease, too.
Bringing men into the online world of infertility would enrich the dialogue, strengthen couples in the trenches and help them share the massive burden of these experiences.
Bringing MFI into the mainstream fertility world feels all the more relevant as evidence slowly emerges that COVID-19 can be identified in the semen of infected men and research begins to show that its presence could impact sperm quality.
As fertility coaches, our primary goal is to lighten the load of navigating infertility. We commit to continually working to bring men into our coaching relationship, ensure that couples are well versed in the myriad MFI diagnoses and have the resources to manage the emotional shake-out of MFI.
As a society, we must work to debunk the notion that masculinity is tied to the power of sperm. Neither “shooting blanks” nor “super swimmers” make a man, and the more we perpetuate this truth, the better off we are.
After all, the secrecy and suppression around MFI is really just a manifestation of what we have come to know as “toxic masculinity”, where men are expected to mask vulnerability and display toughness no matter what. For generations, we have seen the damage this causes in all areas of our communities and the infertility space simply reflects what is occurring in society as a whole.
Just as with everything else, giving voice to under-represented experiences is the beginning of true change. As Rhod Gilbert says, “if we get men talking, it will benefit everyone”.
Who’s with us?